“She’s a #MeToo Bitch!”, said a progressive thinker when discussing about his opinion on a person over the recent movement on the social media with the hashtag #MeToo. The ‘Me Too’ forum was setup to put forward one’s experiences with people who sexually harassed, assaulted or abused them at some point in their lifetime. In the course of time, a lot of movie stars’ and politicians’ names were brought out by the ‘so-called’ victims, of the alleged abusers who touched, caressed, kissed and had sex with them without their consent.
Consent!!! That’s the key word that needs to be focussed on this entire article. How can one determine whether the act that took place was out of consent or not? Is there a measuring meter like the thermometer or the barometer? The Consentometer! Where’s that?
Most of the women in the field of movies are used to work in B grade and C grade movies. You understand what I mean. They are used to the touching, kissing, caressing and the disrobing in front of the cameras with their co-actors in the sets. Does that happen with their consent or not? Yes!!! When that can happen with their consents, then when the co-actors are left with them without the cameras, what makes one think that there couldn’t have been the consent to do the same acts outside of the set! Where’s the consentometer!
While reading some of the allegations against prominent personalities, one thing is getting very clear. Most of them are accusing after years of their experience, while they have not done anything about it all these years. The immediate reaction of any victim will be to complain the matter to the police, family members and the people of authority to find justice. But when crime is not reported since ages, just because one was fearing the consequences, then how did one get all the confidence all of a sudden to face the consequences now while bringing the names in the public domain? “Daal mein kuch kaala hai”. Something fishy for sure!
My heartfelt sympathy goes to those who were sexually abused while they had maintained due distance from the alleged abusers. I’m against all those who intruded one’s privacy and took undue advantage of their power and fame. But let’s not put even the rotten eggs in the basket of good ones. Let’s not forget that the many cases of alleged sex abuse were at some point an act of mutual consent. When a man and a woman choose to go on a date, then the scope for kissing, touching, caressing and doing the romantic acts are all well within the scope of the occasion. I know of many college mates in my college days who ended up on bed, just after their evening drink together. I’ve witnessed the students throwing parties, wherein they think it to be their way of life to dance with anyone they like, and do all that they want to do as their freedom to do what they want. All in the name of ‘consent’. And now after 20, 30 years, if someone comes in the open and say, “he kissed me”, and “he touched me”, I ask that person the question: where were you when he kissed you? Were you in the club – discotheque with him? Or were you in the public place like the court, office or college? It’s a known fact that certain places are made to create certain vibes and ambience. Such acts of perversion cannot be done in places where dignified people move around, at the working hours, when it is free of privacy and booze. But when a person chooses to be in a perfect place for sexual advancement, such as being with someone in solitude, in a place where people don’t move around, with music and lights, while perfectly decked up with makeup and perfume, and hold the hand of the man who has the hormones, then believe me, in that occasion the man assumes that the consent is already given. There’s no written document or audio recordings needed to understand the consent. And no one gives their consent to sex or anything lesser than that out of verbal statement or written texts as one may have to produce the proofs in the courts of law. Consent is determined by the person, at a place, in a manner, with another person who has a need. And that’s an intangible thing which can never be brought out in texts.
So, for those who have chosen a way of life, wherein everything is ok, everything is just fine, then don’t crib over the aftermath of your choices. But for those for whom anything is not ok; and for those who follow certain morals in life, then they have a right to talk about justice, when they didn’t sit before anyone in privacy, basking under the sun in bikinis.
So the phrase “#MeToo Bitch” doesn’t apply to all those who voice out against the abusers. This phrase applies to those who were a party to all the fun, and are now making noise about it after ages. Remember, it always takes two to tango. Both the ones who indulged in all these affairs are free to do so after the section 497 law on Adultery is diluted. But then one will pay the price for violating moral values set by the divine law. That’s inevitable!
(President, Discover Islam Education Trust)